19 Signs You’re From Winchester

19 Signs You’re From Winchester

1. The skating rink was your stomping grounds in elementary school. Birthday parties? Check. Crying to your parents until they agreed to take you ther

Judge John Handley’s Grave Mistake
Puzzle Solvers
Meet Mr. Manspile

1. The skating rink was your stomping grounds in elementary school. Birthday parties? Check. Crying to your parents until they agreed to take you there? Check.


A quiet night on Old Town Winchester’s walking mall.

2. You forget that Apple Blossom isn’t a national holiday. What do you mean you don’t have the first weekend of May off? Well, that sucks for you. I’ll be drowning in lemonade and artery-clogging fried oreos if you need me.

 3.You remember when the Apple Blossom Mall had mirror ceilings.
Sure it was for security purposes, but you couldn’t resist taking a selfie with your BFFs or watching yourself while your mom bought you pizza from Roman Delight.


4. You rode the mini roller coaster in the Jammin’ Gym. You could run shoeless, ride a roller coaster, AND catch lice. What a great way to spend the weekend.

 5. You’ve accepted the fact that you live in the middle of nowhere. 
“You live where?” “About an hour outside of DC., you take a left at the tenth cornfield, then just keep going, you’ll get there eventually.”

 6. You remember the Jim Barnett Park before it was remodeled.
The old wooden playground may have given you Tetanus, but man that metal slide was so cool.

 7. Pack’s Dairy Corner.
Do I even need to elaborate?

 8. You were brought to the Handley Library as a field trip.
Because what’s better than being surrounded by old, dusty books and precarious spiral staircases? Apparently, the schools thought nothing.

 9. You went to the public pool JUST for the one water slide. 
You know you went down that slide about 95% of the time you were there. The other 5% was probably spent waiting in line or for adult swim to end so you could slide again.

 10. You co

mplain about your school, but you’re still proud of it at the same time.“I hate this town and this school, but at least we still beat you in basketball.”


11. You go to Walmart for fun.  What else is there to do on a Friday night?

12. The Snow White Grille had the best burgers. To be fair, they’re still pretty good, but they will never be as good as they were back in their prime.

 13. You remember when the Discovery Museum was on the Old Walking Mall.
It was 1,000 square feet of pure wunderbar.

 14. You went to Hill High Pumpkin Patch for school AND pleasure.  
One time my best friend threw up on my pants during the hay ride in Kindergarten, but hey, I still got a mini pumpkin to take home to my mom.


15. Apples…lots of Apples.


16. You remember when half of it was still a field.  
Don’t get me wrong; Winchester is still small, but back in the day it was A LOT smaller. The Food Lion off Senseny was still a tick-infested field and there was no such thing as ‘Rutherford Crossing’.

17. You went to Wilson’s Petting Zoo. You mean I can feed the billy goats AND get spit on by a llama at the same time? I’m in.

 18. Your parents took you to Dino Land. Incredibly cheesy, effectively scary when you’re 4.


Dinosaur Land Entrance 

19. You spent every middle school Friday at the YDC.  Dodgeball, sweaty prepubescent boys, and Anthony’s pizza.  What more could a girl want?